A Little Background

  Anyone who knows me or ever met for that matter knows I’m “that girl.”  You know the one where everyone loves you but still has that look of, she needs to lose weight, or she’d be so much prettier if she lost a few lbs.  I actually have had people tell me I could be a model if I lost weight.  Nothing like getting a compliment and an insult at the same time eh?  Sad part is, even when I am “losing weight” or have lost weight, I’m STILL that girl.  Still the girl who needs to lose weight. Always have been. Told I always will be.

 

You know, “you’re just big boned, " is what I was always told. So when you’re 5, and you’re already twice the size of your girlfriends in kindergarten, you believe it.  Why am I different? Why can’t I look like them?  I was comforted. I was fed more food, and was given hope that as I got older, the weight would just fall off. What a freakin joke.  Welcome to an entire life of being overweight.

Fast forward 20 years later, and you still have an overweight girl – struggling to find her way to a healthy weight.

Now, I have been on a diet probably 85% of my teen/adult life.  This girl has always been trying to lose weight, but never been able to lose enough - or keep it off.  That age old saying, DIET – lose weight and then gain it back PLUS more, stands tried and true here!  Unfortunately. 

I would say probably from about freshman year of highschool to my freshman year in college I was a steady size 20.  Freshman and sophomore year of college I did the typical thing, gained weight. But I wasn’t the normal size 20 girl. I was still active, played intramural volleyball, walked, worked out, lifted weights with friends; I was pretty active, at least for a 250 lb teen.

My Biggest weight loss to date:

In September of 2009, I went to a new doctor – who turned out to be pretty freakin hokey. Long story short, she told me I was hypoglycemic (something I had been told when I was around 5 but then somehow grew out of around 7).  So I was put on this super strict diet, like I couldn’t even eat carrots or strawberries.  A whole list of stuff I didn’t even know half of what it was. I had to google half that list! I was told to go by this diet, take these pills, and exercise. She said there was no way I would be able to stick to the diet w/out these pills because they would help control my appetite. I was young, I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. Lose weight, and feel better. Whatever it takes doc, sign me up!  Holy crapola was that a miracle drug! I lost FIFTY whopping pounds by December.  I had went from a size 22 to a size 16/18.  Skinniest I had ever been. EVER.  I looked GOOD. My face was thin, my stomach was flat (for a fat girl, it was flat, no rolls, just chub). LOL. Again, best IIIII had ever looked. And everyone told me how GREAT I looked.  What an AWESOME feeling that was!! Then I met my husband, at my prime. Thank you Jesus.

Jump to the present day, no more pretty chubby girl. I am downright, flabby, ugly, rolly polly, depressed, and anxious. And, a weight gain of 100 lbs from when I met my wonderful husband 3 ½ years ago. He deserves a nobel prize just for staying with my fat butt. For real. I don’t even like lookin at this fat mess, let alone him!

So one day we watch the documentary, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead (thanks to my awesome friend for recommending it, it was a good watch).  Wowzers. AMAZING. My hubby is ALL OVER IT. Like, we ordered a juicer and said that is gonna be us in 2 months. I wasn’t too sure. But, we got our juicer, I emptied out the cabinets and gave away all our processed, pre-packaged food. I knew there was no way in haites I could commit to juicing with junk still in our house. Plus, I truly wanted to be healthy, and that food was not healthy.  

 

Being healthy is HARD. The hubs lasted a whole 2 days juicing. I did it well for the first week, still ate a salad for dinner and lost 8 lbs.  The second week, I had so much energy I started fat girl running. Meaning, I was really jogging, but to my overweight, mess of a body, it felt like I was RUNNING. It was hard!! I just knew my heart was literally going to explode because it was pounding and hurting so bad after running a few whopping feet. So, I call it running, because to me, that’s what it is. 

Next thing I know, I am craving running. Like, I’m driving to work and feeling a desire to go RUN. So for a week straight, I start running every morning.  Now, I just got promoted – who knew they still promoted fat chicks these days? Lol.  So with that, my work schedule changed and I didn’t go to work til the afternoon which gave me plenty of time to run in the mornings. So I did, and I went farther and farther, and farther each time.